I Saw the Best Minds of My Generation...and They Weren't Very Impressive

I am the Captain of Lazy. I have distilled it and forged it into a fine art. My lazy is seductive, unassuming, and easily overlooked. It's quite natural, expected even, to look at me and my accomplishments and say, "Well, there's a guy that's working hard. He does well for himself and his wife." People say that, but that is false. I'm slothenly, a devout couch potato. I call in sick (occasionally when I am less than sick). I take every single vacation and holiday offered to me, and search the employee manual for more. I don't want any extra responsibility without extra compensation. I'm willing to work hard, but only in so much as it is required to bring me the things I want. I might be a great personality, and an enjoyable guy to have around, but I am not a "go-getter."

I say all of that, to say this. People my age (from 18-30) are the most irresponsible, lazy, good for nothing so-and-so's imaginable. True, there are some of us that are outgoing, ambitious, level-headed, conscientious members of society. I've even met a couple of these people. But the vast majority of people in this age group (which is the most courted by advertisers) are like me. Sure we'll show up on time, but don't expect us to have any "company loyalty" driving us on without paychecks or benefits.

What has made us this way? Well, first and foremost it's the fault of our parents and grandparents. Our grandparents (many of them anyway) served in World War II. They fought hard for freedom, and returned to the U.S. with a new sense of possibility and potential. They built homes, bought two or three automobiles a piece, moved televisions into the homes, and made it almost mandatory for their children to go to college.

Our parents are probably (other than us) the best educated generation in the history of mankind. They enjoyed (largely) desegregated public schools, the vast majority of them attended college, most of them finished college (eventually). They are smart, active, successfull. And they want those same things for their children. Boy are we screwing that up.

I have had the displeasure to meet some of the laziest imaginable people. And they are all my age. While the average young person is like me (not exactly a hard worker, but not a slacker either), there are those that have sunk to new levels of lazy. I call these people "Federline's" after my favorite faux-celebrity, Mr. Britney Spears, Kevin Federline. These poor souls are constantly looking for a handout. These are the ones that don't go to class, and then complain about their failing grade. This is the guy that takes a week off for some dental work, and upon his return to the office puts in his vacation request.

"Joel," you might be saying, "how can you, a confirmed lazy person, begrudge someone trying to slide by?" Well, it's simple, if they don't pull their weight, I have to pull it. I believe we've already discussed extra responsibility without extra compensation! Because that, my friends, is where I draw the line on lazy. Procrastination, and lack of ambition are one thing, but letting other people take care of the things YOU are supposed to do, that's just bad form.

I used to rant and rave whenever I would read an article about the poor work ethic of my generation, but then I worked with some of us. The articles were right. So, get up this morning (or tomorrow, if you've already missed it today), go to work, apologize to the guy that had to cover for you, and sin no more. Someday we'll have to tell stories to our kids about how hard things were for us as young people, and it's just easier to actually live it than to make it up.