Snakes are Scary, Planes are Cool, Snakes on a Plane is Scary Cool!

Since Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the tree of knowledge, man and serpents have had a beef with one another, and rightly so. Snakes don't have legs, man. That's weird! The serpent is a representation of all that is evil, deceitful and untrustworthy. Satan is often shown as a reptilian figure. Snakes are the epitome of evil. Even brave men fear snakes.

Since man first looked to the skies, and beheld the beauty of birds in flight, he longed to join them. After centuries of failure, the Wright brothers finally enabled man to truly enjoy a "bird's eye view" from the seat of an airplane in the early 1900's. Since that time, man has conquered not only the sky but space, traveling all the way to the moon. The sky holds no fear for man.

But what if there were snakes in the sky?

That question (and others, like "How cool is Sam Jackson?") will be answered tonight with the release of "Snakes on a Plane," the largest B-Movie in history. I know not all of you can get behind movies that are bad on purpose. But I love schlocky films. Movies that revel in their baditude (yeah it's a word! I'm a writer, if I write it, it's a word). There is something to be said about a movie that aspires to be simple fun. Cardboard characters, predictable scares, and the baddest man on the planet, that's what you'll get when you see "Snakes on a Plane." So for those that aren't so sure that they are ready to join the "Snakes on a Plane" army, here's the top five reasons to see "Snakes on a Plane."

5. Julianna Margulies -- You remember her as George Clooney's girlfriend from "ER" but she's made appearances in films like Disney's "Dinosaur" and "Ghost Ship." She's also done a lot of guest work on TV like "Scrubs" and most recently as Tony's (and Christopher's) girlfriend on "The Sopranos."

4. David Koechner -- he's one of the funniest supporting actors in NBC's version of "The Office" (Todd Packer) and he's hilarious in the new Will Ferrell film, "Talladega Nights." This guy is a perfect supporting character with a voice and face that you can't help but laugh at (sorry Dave it's true).

3. Snakes -- slithery, slimy, scary. 'Nough said!

2. Plane -- it's a confined space, it's 40,000 feet in the air, and it's rocketing towards its destination. 'Nough said!

1. Samuel L. Jackson -- the single baddest man to ever walk the planet (other than possibly Hercules, if that dude was real, he was badder). He is the only actor ever to play both Shaft, and a Jedi Master. That's right he's a bad mother-SHUT Yo' MOUTH! and he can harness the powers of the force, that is to say nothing of his skills with the ladies. 'Nough said!

Let's recap: Snakes are scary, Planes are cool, Sam Jackson is the man, and "Snakes on a Plane" is the greatest movie, perhaps of all time! See you tonight at the movies.