Exit Stage Left: The Continuing Adventures of the Drunken Actor

The trip to New Orleans was incredibly eventful for Mrs. Rogue and I. We got jobs, we found some wonderful houses, learned our way around the city and had a mid-sleet storm crawfish boil. But time did not stand still in Ruston while we were away. My little excursion (necessary as it might have been) cost me a whole week of rehearsals for the upcoming production of "Zorro" and it shows.

The cast did well in my absence (amazing, I know, but true) loosely blocking almost all the fights, and working interior scenes (most of which did not involve everyone's favorite bumbling Sergeant). There was also a ton of set construction done while I was away (not that there isn't a ton more left to do). The cast themselves had an eventful week as well, with at least three crew members coming through the Easter weekend (and the infamous "Stage Combat Workshop") with injuries, one of them quite severe. Our costumer has been laid low with a severely broken leg (she's doing much better now after undergoing surgery yesterday), which means that this weekend's rehearsal (originally scheduled as a stumble through with costumes and lights) has been radically altered (it's now a workday with only minimal rehearsals).

The fact that I've done a lot of theatre over the years has enabled me to swing back into things pretty well. I don't look that far behind most of the rest of the cast, but I'm definitely behind where I should be with line memorization (reminder: less "American Idol" more line work). We are (as our director so politely pointed out last night) two weeks away from opening, and we will be ready. It just never seems that way at this point in the rehearsal period. As "Shakespeare in Love" put it:


Phillip Henslowe: Mr. Fennyman, allow me to explain about the theatre business. The natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster.

Hugh Fennyman: So what do we do?

Henslowe: Nothing. Strangely enough, it all turns out well.

An Awfully Shaky Sword: I'm Too Old For This...

A great man once said, "I'm too old for this ..(expletive deleted to maintain family friendly atmosphere).." That man was Roger Murtaugh. The fact that he is a fictional character created and portrayed by Danny Glover (my brother from another mother) does not lessen the veracity of that statement. I AM too old for this stuff. Many of us are too old for many things. You may be too old to have a MySpace profile (not you, Mom, you're perfectly young enough). Perhaps you're too old for your car (really, fellas, a Maserati at 72?). In my case I may be a little too old to be learning new tricks. At least tricks with a sword.

Swordplay (particularly the pre-choreographed, stage and screen kind) relies on confidence. Right now, I am not very confident with my swordplay. It's been a long time (somewhere around four years) since I've even picked up a sword. I'm clumsy, a little skittish, and probably pretty dangerous to be around (but not in the cool deadly way, just in the I might accidentally put your eye out way).

The good news is, I have three of the very best teachers an actor could ask for, and a good base of knowledge about stage combat to reclaim. I used to know how to fight, and I haven't really forgotten it. It's all there, deep in the muscle memory, I just have to root it out.

This morning I also got to break out another set of skills that haven't been used in a while. These I feel infinitely more confident with. I used to be a pretty good actor. I still am. I got my first real scene work today (up until now, it's been all blocking and bull whip practice) and I rocked. It was a lot of fun to be walking the boards again. Making choices, seeing opportunities for moments, getting a couple of laughs. If there was ever anything that felt like riding a bike (just get back on, and it all comes rushing back to you) for me, this is it.

So, let's recap: Joel the actor is in full effect. Ready, willing and able. Joel the fighter is on his way, but it's a long road 'tween here and there.