Exit Stage Left: The Continuing Adventures of the Drunken Actor

The trip to New Orleans was incredibly eventful for Mrs. Rogue and I. We got jobs, we found some wonderful houses, learned our way around the city and had a mid-sleet storm crawfish boil. But time did not stand still in Ruston while we were away. My little excursion (necessary as it might have been) cost me a whole week of rehearsals for the upcoming production of "Zorro" and it shows.

The cast did well in my absence (amazing, I know, but true) loosely blocking almost all the fights, and working interior scenes (most of which did not involve everyone's favorite bumbling Sergeant). There was also a ton of set construction done while I was away (not that there isn't a ton more left to do). The cast themselves had an eventful week as well, with at least three crew members coming through the Easter weekend (and the infamous "Stage Combat Workshop") with injuries, one of them quite severe. Our costumer has been laid low with a severely broken leg (she's doing much better now after undergoing surgery yesterday), which means that this weekend's rehearsal (originally scheduled as a stumble through with costumes and lights) has been radically altered (it's now a workday with only minimal rehearsals).

The fact that I've done a lot of theatre over the years has enabled me to swing back into things pretty well. I don't look that far behind most of the rest of the cast, but I'm definitely behind where I should be with line memorization (reminder: less "American Idol" more line work). We are (as our director so politely pointed out last night) two weeks away from opening, and we will be ready. It just never seems that way at this point in the rehearsal period. As "Shakespeare in Love" put it:


Phillip Henslowe: Mr. Fennyman, allow me to explain about the theatre business. The natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster.

Hugh Fennyman: So what do we do?

Henslowe: Nothing. Strangely enough, it all turns out well.

An Awfully Shaky Sword: I'm Too Old For This...

A great man once said, "I'm too old for this ..(expletive deleted to maintain family friendly atmosphere).." That man was Roger Murtaugh. The fact that he is a fictional character created and portrayed by Danny Glover (my brother from another mother) does not lessen the veracity of that statement. I AM too old for this stuff. Many of us are too old for many things. You may be too old to have a MySpace profile (not you, Mom, you're perfectly young enough). Perhaps you're too old for your car (really, fellas, a Maserati at 72?). In my case I may be a little too old to be learning new tricks. At least tricks with a sword.

Swordplay (particularly the pre-choreographed, stage and screen kind) relies on confidence. Right now, I am not very confident with my swordplay. It's been a long time (somewhere around four years) since I've even picked up a sword. I'm clumsy, a little skittish, and probably pretty dangerous to be around (but not in the cool deadly way, just in the I might accidentally put your eye out way).

The good news is, I have three of the very best teachers an actor could ask for, and a good base of knowledge about stage combat to reclaim. I used to know how to fight, and I haven't really forgotten it. It's all there, deep in the muscle memory, I just have to root it out.

This morning I also got to break out another set of skills that haven't been used in a while. These I feel infinitely more confident with. I used to be a pretty good actor. I still am. I got my first real scene work today (up until now, it's been all blocking and bull whip practice) and I rocked. It was a lot of fun to be walking the boards again. Making choices, seeing opportunities for moments, getting a couple of laughs. If there was ever anything that felt like riding a bike (just get back on, and it all comes rushing back to you) for me, this is it.

So, let's recap: Joel the actor is in full effect. Ready, willing and able. Joel the fighter is on his way, but it's a long road 'tween here and there.

All The World's a Stage...But Especially the Parts Where You Perform Plays

While a lot of my online friends and loyal readers are familiar with the goings on in the "business called show," I know that there are some that aren't. I also am currently knee deep in it, and that's what I want to write about today, so there!

In the professional world there is very little time for rehearsals. In repertory theatres the rehearsal period is generally a week or two during the day while the current show runs at night. Off Broadway shows may be work-shopped for decades, but once they actually begin the rehearsal process they go quickly into previews.

College theatre is a little different. The main obstacle to such a quick turn around is that the actors, technicians, crew etc. are all students and therefore largely unavailable for work and rehearsals during the day. This extends the process, generally with three to five weeks of rehearsals, followed by a week or two of performances. "Zorro" is roughly on this schedule.

The first week of rehearsals is often used for "table work". This consists of line readings between the actors, discussion about characters' motivations, accents and physicality with the director, and maybe some early blocking. Blocking, at its most basic, is the process of deciding where to stand and where to walk while saying your lines. Some of it is organic (ie. If I said this, I'd want to do this), some is pre-determined by the director (I want a certain visual image at this moment) and some is trial and error (you can't walk there, 'cause I'll trip over your gown).

That's how the first week would go for most shows. "Zorro" is not like most shows, however. When we're done, "Zorro" will run just less than two and half hours. Probably two hours of that will involve some level of physical interaction (dancing, fighting, whipping, physical comedy). With so much physicality inherent in the show the emphasis (even this early) has to be on actor training and preparation. So instead of discussing character motivations and reading lines for the first four or five rehearsals, we're blocking out fights, learning stage combat techniques and training with new weapons. This brings us to the bullwhip.

I'm a pretty cool guy. I'm funny, intelligent and charismatic. I've sold cars, answered phones, acted at the community, collegiate, and professional levels. I've been trained in hand to hand combat techniques, am handy with a broadsword, knife, rapier and dagger and very good with a quarterstaff. And now I know how to use a whip.

I also have arms of Jello...after having thought about it, they may not like me using their product name. Let's just say I have arms of gelatin dessert. Saturday morning was my first training session and after about forty-five minutes worth of whip work I was feeling pretty good about myself. Then came Monday night. I spent the better part of two and a half hours with a whip in my hand, and it darn sure wasn't just danglin' there.

There is a very specific crack that the director wants me to learn for the show. I'll be beating a peasant, and it needs to look painful, while not actually being so. It's not an easy crack to learn, but after just two days of work I'm getting the hang of it. Not only am I going to be hilariously funny in this role, (at times at least) I'm gonna look like a badass. Woohoo for me!

Tonight I'm called at 7:30 for more whip work, so chances are that by tomorrow my arms will be literally be too sore to raise to this keyboard. But the payoff at the end of April will be sweet! Thanks to everybody who has sent me well-wishes and congrats for getting back on stage. It has been a while, but once I'm there it feels like I've never left. I guess there will always be a little bit of the actor in me. And now there's a little bit of the Whip in there too.

Once More Unto the Breach Dear Friends, Once More

My interest in Theatre began at the age of twelve. For five years I was constantly involved in one production after another. During my senior year of high school and the start of my freshman year of college I took a break. It lasted about a year and a half. From the Spring of 2000 to the Winter of 2004 again I was continually on stage. Then I took another break. Again my vacation lasted about eighteen months. In the fall of 2005 I performed in a play entitled "Atomic Field." It's been a year and a half since then and I've got the itch.

One of my favorite professors during my college career was Mark Guinn, a man who's friends call him "Rat". Rat is not a man that you say no to. On the contrary, he's a man that as often as possible you follow. If he says "Jump", you have a strong inclination to ask "How high?" He's a professor, director, actor, fighter and about as close to a "wise man" as I've ever come in contact with. When Rat asks for help, you give it.

These two things (my "itch" to act again, and my desire to please Mark Guinn) combined to send me back to the stage. This April and May, you'll see the Drunken Rogue in all his bumbling glory as Sgt. Gonzales in Stone Theatre's Production of "Zorro" by David Richmond and Drew Fracher. It's got romance, humor, suspense, sword fights, bull whips, music and dancing...and that's just the first act.

It's going to be a lot of fun working with some old friends, making new ones, and mostly getting that warm reception from an audience again (we all know I'm a bit of a glory hound). It will also give me an interesting opportunity to describe the rehearsal process for people who might not have been exposed to theatre before.

***Author's Side Note***It ticks me off to no end that FireFox (and MS Word) both label "theatre", my preferred (and completely acceptable) spelling of the word as a typo. Somebody's getting a nasty letter about this.***End Author's Side Note***

Over the next couple of weeks, I'll try to break down some of the steps we take and explain what's going on in the production and what it's like for the actor. I'd tell you what it's like for the director, set designer and the costume crew, but the fact of the matter is I don't know. Also, it goes without saying that any one within driving distance is more than welcome to attend the show. We'll be running from the last week of April through the first week of May. I'll give you more updates when I have them.

It's been a while since I've taken the stage, and longer since I've fought on one. I might be a little rusty, but don't think for a minute that I don't still have what it takes. The Drunken Rogue is back in the spotlight, and loving every minute of it.